Drinking With Idiots
by TrustCompany88
Summary: One day, they really would be the death of him. One Shot ItachiXSakura


Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, Itachi never would have died. Also he would have run away with Sakura after their first meeting to make babies. Lots of them. And no, I do not own the song It's The End Of The World As We Know It. It belongs to R.E.M.

Alright so this was just a fun little one shot that I came up with a few nights ago. At the time I was reading the story Redemption by Mustsleep and I was reading a part in that story when this idea came out of nowhere and smacked me in the face. So Mustsleep, I dedicate this to you and I give you many thanks for writing that scene (You know which one it is, I don't want to give your plot away), without it I never would have come up with this idea.

As always: Reviews = Love! Flames = Entertainment! Constructive Criticism = Accepted! I hope you all enjoy it!

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><p>Why he was here he did not know. All he knew was that this was a situation that he never wanted to be in again. If it were even possible, he swore that he could lose brain cells just by witnessing this <em>monstrosity. <em>How could doing someone one little favor turn into something like this?

~Flashback~

_"Come on Itachi! Please! I promise nothing bad will happen!" The man with wild dark hair pleaded._

_Itachi stared at him with eyes blank of all emotions. He had heard this line many times before and could not help but remember that every time something bad did in fact happen. This time would not be any different from the others and he did not want to know the consequences of what would happen this time if he gave in._

_"I refuse." Itachi said with a voice that promised pain if the other man asked again._

_"Itachi! It's only a bar! Nothing bad ever happens at bars! Besides you don't even have to drink or anything! All you have to do is just stand there and be your usual cold and intimidating self. Once the girls there notice that you are a cold fish they will flock to me!" His cousin whined._

_If only there was a way to sew his mouth shut permanently. Now that he thought about it he was sure there was a jutsu for that. He would be sure to look into it__._

_"Shisui, bad things happen at bars all the time. I refuse to go along with this... idea of yours. I am not a _wingman _nor will I ever be." He said with an air of finality, signifying that he was done with this conversation._

_"You and I both know that I will talk you into it. I always do." Shisui spoke with confidence._

~End of flashback~

If he wasn't an Uchiha he would have grimaced at that memory. Somehow, just like always, Shisui had talked him into doing it. With the help of blackmail of course. And if there was one thing that Itachi really didn't want to happen, it would be to have his fan girls _somehow _get a hold of pictures of him from his childhood. The massive amounts of screaming would make his head explode.

And so he had found himself at the bar with his cousin. Of course he had no idea that his little brother and his teammates would be there too. With them having just turned legal drinking age, they were found in the bars of Konoha most nights when they didn't have missions. This night was no different than the others, but he hadn't expected them to be at that bar. He didn't mind that they were there, until Shisui had decided to greet them.

~Flashback~

_Itachi stared at his surroundings in boredom. He had even exceeded Shisui's expectations in being cold and intimidating. In all honesty, he really was more cold and intimidating than usual due to the fact that his annoyance had reached an all time high. Sure he had been hit on before, but being in a bar full of drunk women took the cake. He had drawn the 'do not approach me' line within the first five minutes of being in the bar. This, of course, had everything to do with the 40 something year old civilian woman who had flashed him. Needless to say he was not amused by the action and had been giving off a killing aura since the incident._

_He would have been more than happy to just leave the facility if it weren't due to his cousin and his underhanded means of persuasion. In fact Itachi had made a note to burn all of the pictures from his childhood once he returned home. Then again who knew what else Shisui had up his sleeve. It was times like these that he wondered just why he had even decided to be friends with his older cousin to begin with._

_He was eventually brought out of his inner monologue when he noticed that his cousin was on the move again. This time though, Shisui was not making his way towards a group of women. Instead he was approaching two males. It took Itachi a second to recognize them in the dim lighting and when he did, he absently wondered where the female member of his little brother's team was. Then again he just really didn't care._

_"Hey there baby cousin! Foxy! I haven't seen you in a while! How have you been?" Shisui broadcasted in an overly loud voice._

_"Shisui." Sasuke greeted._

_"Damn it! How many times do I have to tell you that my name is not Foxy you prick?" Naruto shouted, his bright blue eyes clearly showing annoyance._

_"Meh, it is as far as I am concerned." Shisui countered._

_"Sakura! Tell the bastard that my name is not Foxy!" The blonde yelled once more._

_"Shut it Naruto! I am not in the mood right now." The pink haired woman spoke through gritted teeth._

_"No good competition?" Sasuke asked in an almost bored voice._

_"They all keep passing out after the seventh shot. It's not my fault that they have such low tolerance. The only good drinking competition that I have ever had was with Lady Tsunade and even then I win on occasion." She answered in a voice full of annoyance._

_"How much have you had to drink already?" Shisui asked and Itachi could tell that this question did not bode well for him._

_"21 shots and I am still sober." She replied._

_"Well then if you are looking for a good competition, I think I would be able to give you a run for your money." The eldest Uchiha said._

~End of Flashback~

In the end Shisui did just that. Four bottles of sake later and both of them were completely wasted. His brother and the blonde had gotten bored after the first two bottles were gone and had left to go to a different bar. This action in turn left Itachi with two very drunk ninjas. He was not pleased by this at all but someone had to keep an eye on his cousin and keep him out of trouble.

Nothing bad had happened so far but he was sure that it was bound to. After all, something bad _always _happens when he is doing Shisui a favor. Itachi was sure that this time would be no different than any other time. And then it happened.

When they were almost three blocks from the Uchiha Compound, Shisui and Sakura decided that it was a good idea to liven up the night by singing as loudly as possible, Shisui's singing was making his ears bleed but Sakura's was alright. It wouldn't have been so bad that they were doing this if it wasn't three in the morning. Of course the song that they were singing would also have been a cause for alarm to the ninjas that were asleep. Why on God's green Earth had he decided that he would stick around to escort them home? Oh that's right. It was to keep them out of trouble. Needless to say he was not doing a very good job of that at the moment.

"It's the end of the world as we know it! It's the end of the world as we know it! It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine!"

Oh yes, Itachi decided, this song was defiantly not the best one to be singing in a village full of sleeping ninjas. He needed to find a way to shut them up and fast. _Fast__,_ now that gave him the prefect idea. He would have to thank his cousin for teaching him this one day. Though with as much as he torments him, that may very well be never.

Within the blink of an eye, Itachi had appeared behind Shisui and pressed down on the pressure point on his neck. Itachi caught his cousin's limp body and flickered to his cousin's house and placed him in bed. Now all he had to do was take care of his little brother's teammate. Once again Itachi was gone in a blur.

Sakura was confused. One minute she was stumbling down the road with Shisui, both of them singing loudly at the top of their lungs, and the next he was gone. She blinked slowly thinking that it might just be the sake making her see things. When she opened her eyes again she saw Itachi standing in front of her. She blinked once more to make sure that this was not an illusion. It wasn't, he really was standing there in all of his God like, according to his fan girls anyways, glory. His dark onyx eyes were staring at her impassively and his long black hair was tied back in its usual ponytail at the nape of his neck.

Itachi was just thankful that the woman was quite when returned. He had no idea how he would have silenced her without making her pass out. He would have used the same method that he used on Shisui but that always caused a massive headache when they came to. She was not an enemy nor did he know her that well like he did Shisui so that was not an option.

"Come, I will see that you get home safely." He told her.

He watched as she just nodded her head and turned in the direction of her home. The walk there so far was surprisingly silent. Not that he was going to complain about it. He quite enjoyed the silence. Of course he always did have the ability to jinx himself.

"Hey Itachi? Where did Shisui go?" The pink haired girl asked, her emerald eyes alight with curiosity and her words were slightly slurred but still comprehensible.

"He is at home taking a nap." Itachi replied nonchalantly.

Of course this wasn't a lie. Shisui was at home and he was taking nap. She didn't need to know that he had knocked his cousin unconscious and used the body flicker technique to get him home. After all that song was sure to get them attacked and it needed to be dealt with quickly.

Sakura's face took on a look of understanding as they continued their trek in the direction of her apartment. Once again they had fallen into silence and if there was one thing that Sakura did not like, it was that. After all, she had spent her entire ninja career listening to Sasuke and Naruto argue about everything and anything.

"So, how have things been for you?" Sakura asked awkwardly while her gaze was locked on to what little she could see of Itachi's face from her current angle.

Sure she had seen Itachi plenty of times but she had never really cared to take really good look at him. All in all Itachi was quite attractive. His long hair that he always kept back was sleek and well cared for, it was in fact cared for better than her own lower back length pink hair. His dark onyx eyes were not as open to showing emotions which was very unlike her own emotional emerald eyes. In fact Itachi really was the complete opposite of Sakura in every way. And maybe, just maybe, that was what had caught the attention of her inebriated mind.

"Fine." Itachi finally answered after a moment of silence.

Of course Sakura was not pleased with this answer. It wasn't for the fact that things were going alright for him, it was more for the fact that he only answered with one word. One bloody fricken word! Now it might just be the alcohol thinking for her now, but she was pissed. She decided that she would be more than happy to let the prick walking next to her know it.

"What is it with you God damn Uchihas'! You know what don't answer that! I've had it with all of you broody clansmen! You all have poles shoved so far up your asses that they have replaced your spines and are the reason your backs are so straight! You can all kiss m-!"

He had once again decided that she was being too loud. Not only were there Uchihas' on ANBU duty at this time of night, but also her yelling was making his ears hurt. So he did the only thing that he could do without hurting her. He kissed her. Granted it wasn't the best thing he could have come up with but it worked. Not to mention the fact that she wasn't too bad at it either. In fact he was quiet enjoying it and with the way she was responding, he could tell that she was enjoying it as well.

All too soon, according to Sakura anyway, the kiss ended. Itachi looked the same as he always did and Sakura was left stunned at the action. She couldn't quite get around the fact that THE Itachi Uchiha had just kissed her. How many women could say that they have? As far as she knew they could probably be counted on one hand.

Itachi just watched as Sakura opened and closed her mouth repeatedly as she tried to form some sort of speech. The action in itself was cute and made her look more innocent than she already did. Maybe there really was something more for him to protect than just his little brother. Even the thought of it was enough to make Itachi's lips twitch into a small smile, which only made Sakura's eyes widen further.

"Goodnight Sakura. I am sure that I will be seeing you again real soon." Itachi told her with the smile still set on his lips.

Before she knew it he was gone. She was left to wonder what on God's green Earth had just happened. There was no way that this could have been real. It had to be a dream. Itachi did not kiss her and he did not smile. She was just going to go to bed and forget that this ever happened. And that was exactly what she did after she belatedly noticed that she was in fact standing in front of her apartment building, leaving her to wonder just when they had got there.

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><p>"Um, bastard... how much did I have to drink tonight? Because I swear I just saw your ice cube brother kiss Sakura." Naruto slurred slightly.<p>

"You and I had the same amount and I swear I just saw the same thing you did. Do you think one of the fan girls spiked one of our drinks and now we are hallucinating?" Sasuke asked his blonde friend/rival.

"Yeah that must be it. I think we had better go home and sleep this off." Naruto replied, his blue eyes still slightly dazed.

"I think that is the best idea that you have ever had." Sasuke said as they both stumbled away.

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><p>Yes, Itachi had decided when he arrived home; there really was something else worth protecting. The small pink haired girl would be worth it. She was innocent and fierce, that was something that was rare in their line of duty and he knew that he wanted her. Once he had her, he was never going to let her go, nor would he let anyone corrupt the innocence that she still held. He would protect her no matter what. And starting tomorrow, he was going to make his intentions known.<p>

Maybe doing favors for his cousin didn't always turn out so bad after all.

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><p>End notes: Not really a whole lot that I have to say other than the fact that I had fun writing this little one shot. Also sometime in the future I may come back to this world and write about Itachi's pursuit of Sakura. We'll have to see how things go though.<p>

~This. Is. Not. The. End88~ (God I can't wait until I change this to something shorter)


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